Spiders that I like

After having described how I hate spiders and how I'm afraid of these fairy creatures I would like to present you three spiders that I really like. Two of them are related to my childhood. They aren't real spiders. The first is a toy that I used to play when I was a child. I had more than one of that toys because they used to break easily. It was a big spider made of black rubber with a piece of fur on its back. There was a kind of thin rope with a pump on its end. After squeezed the pump the spider jumped and it took a lot of fun! It could be bought at stalls during the parish festivals where there were a lot of toys, balloons, sweets and other things. Do you remember this kind of toy? Have you ever had something like this?

The second friendly spider is a character from a short cartoon called Spider in the Bath. When I was young it was on Polish tv in the programme called Wieczorynka which can be translated in English as Evening cartoon. In every short episode a boy saw the spider in the bathroom or in another place and he was afraid of it and wanted to get rid of it but the creature was always sly and hid somewhere so the boy couldn't eliminate it. The short story was always told by a song. I remember that after seeing it for the first time I couldn't stop singing the chorus of the song. When I was searching it on internet I found only English version and I couldn't find the Polish one and it made me sad because I no longer remember the lyrics of the entire Polish song. This cartoon was one of my favourite while my friends hated it. And do you remember it? Now when I'm asking my friends about the Spider in the Bath nobody remembers it. Here you can see and listen to the English version:

The third spider that I like very much is situated in the lyrics of one of my favourite Brian Eno's songs called Spider and I. He is my favourite musician. I have already written a post about him and his music so I don't want to develop this topic here. I like the song because it is very peaceful and relaxing. I like it also for the lyrics. When I'm listening to it I imagine myself watching the sky with a spider and in some way it makes me feel that these eight legged creatures aren't so dangerous and I wouldn't be so much afraid of them. It is a slow song, perfect to listen to before falling asleep...

Spiders everywhere

Last time I wrote about my fear of spiders. Today I would like to tell you how the phobia has changed my life.

The place which reminds me of spiders the most is my basement. Since my brother has found Miśka there (the spider I wrote about in my last post) I no longer enter this place. I haven't been there for about 8 to 10 years. I even don't know how does it look like today. When I refused for the first time to go to our basement and bring some preserves my mother was surprised and she thought that I was joking. Now my family got used to my fear and they all know that it is useless to ask me to go down to the basement.

Another place where I can meet my eight legged enemies is our wooden summer house in Warmia. I used to go there with my family one or two times a year, during summer holidays and around Easter or May picnic. The house is situated near lake and it remains empty most of the year. Spiders like such places. When there is no human inside spiders are taking control of the summer house. Every time we come there for our holidays there are plenty of cobwebs and spiders. The problem is that I can't cross the doorstep until someone removes all the cobwebs and kills all the spiders. When it is done I enter the house and have a look around the corners. If I see even a small spider I run away crying. It happened some times that I didn't want to sleep in our summer house and I went to sleep in my grandmother's house. I preferred to sleep in a small room with mice which I hear chewing something under the wardrobe all the night than with spiders. When I finally decided to spend the night in our summer house it wasn't a calm night not only for me but also for my roommates. Before falling asleep I did detailed search of the corners and of my bed. A small lamp had to be on all the night. When I fell asleep after one or two hours it was a success. But the whole night I dreamed about spiders which were everywhere! And I talked and screamed during sleeping which annoyed my sister and my brother and didn't allowed them to sleep.

There are some unexpected situations when I feel the fear of spiders. Recently I was going by car with my sister. She was a driver and I sat next to her. We were out of city and the sun was shining straight in my face. I opened the car visor and noticed a spider which were hanging from a thread. I started to shout and wanted to run away but I couldn't do anything because I was in the running car. My sister didn't know what to do. She was afraid that I would jump out of the car so she stopped it on the roadside. I got out of the vehicle and my sister removed the spider from behind the visor. This way we could continue our travel.

I am an arachnophobe. I am terribly afraid of spiders and some weeks ago my brother started to breed a tarantula. Then he brought another three exotic spiders. How can I feel safe in my home now?

Face to face with a spider

I am a person who is afraid of many things, phenomenons and situations. In this post I would like to describe one of my biggest fears.

I'm sure that most of you, if not all of you, know what arachnophobia is. But have you ever been affected by this fear? I know this phobia very well. I think my case isn't the most serious one but my fear is rather strong. I don't feel the usual disgust for spiders. I feel really bad and I'm terrified when even a small eight legged creature is near me. I'm also afraid of spiderwebs and sometimes I wonder if they aren't maybe more horrifying. Does it seem strange? I can explain that. Seeing a spider I can control its location, observe its behaviour and predict its actions. It allows me to take action to defend myself against the enemy. When I see a spiderweb and don't see any spider I know that it is somewhere near me but I have no way to control it and in practice it can be everywhere. As well on my back or, even worse, ugh... on my head!

Some people tell me that my fear is unmotivated and absurd but it is the real nature of a phobia. What's more, it is obvious that some species of spiders are dangerous. A few years ago I was bitten by a spider and even if it wasn't a deadly tarantula it hurt and I couldn't walk for three days because my whole leg was swollen.

Being a child I wasn't afraid of spiders. The fear was aroused by a specific situation. One day my four years younger brother caught a spider in our basement and decided to keep it. He even gave it a name Miśka. It was a female of the species Tenegaria domestica and it was very big! Its body with legs covered the surface of 1-liter jar. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if my brother had been keeping it in a suitable and closed container. But he had not. That time he slept in my room and before falling asleep he always took out Miśka from the container and stroke it like a cat or dog. One night he probably fell asleep without putting the spider back to the container. In the early morning I woke up and saw Miśka right beside my face on the pillow! I started to shout and run around the room. It was a real panic! Since that day I am terribly afraid of spiders.

Halloween feels at home in Poland

The end of October and the beginning of November is the period when people contemplate death. They deal with this subject in many different ways. In some cultures, for example in Poland, it comes down to a religious celebration of the holidays called All Saints’ Day which falls on the 1st of November and All Souls’ Day on the 2^nd of November. It’s the time when Poles visit cemeteries and light candles on the tombs of their deceased loved ones praying for them. In churches the meditation on what is temporal and eternal takes place. It is rather sad and melancholic time.

On the other side, probably the most known worldwide tradition dedicated to the souls of dead is the 31th of October called Halloween. The western practice to dress up as ghosts, vampires, zombies, witches and so on is more and more perceptible also in Poland. It is more playful approach to the topic.

This year I spent that time in my hometown Bielsko-Biała. The last day of October I cleaned the tombs on cemeteries and I prepared them for the next day celebrations. On my way home I saw a group of children dressed up as different creatures who were walking from house to house shouting ‘trick or treat!’ in Polish. I was shocked. In the evening I made an appointment with my friend. On the streets there were more groups of young ghosts and zombies. After sunset Bielsko is usually rather empty but that evening it was full of life, or even better saying full of death! There were a lot of dressed up teenagers who were frightening the passersby. I felt like in a horror movie. I dislike such a entertainments and I don’t support the western tradition of Halloween but I have to say that the atmosphere of that evening was unique. All thanks to the weather which perfectly fit the circumstance. There was such a thick fog that me and my friend couldn’t find each other on the street. It made the city look mysterious and scary. The fog created also some natural Halloween decorations. For example the small mote of water settled on the spider webs on the bridge, which made an amazing effect! The picture doesn’t express it very good and the quality is bad too but you can imagine more or less what it was like ;)

New musical experience

As you know I am fanatic of music. During the holidays I always have more time to explore new bands, albums and tracks. This year it was a good possibility to immerse in the newest Siddharta’s album. It was released 12th of June and it is called Infra. Before Infra two new songs came out which announced the album. They are called Ledena and Dios. Ledena is a slow ballad. The title means ‘icy’ and the lyrics is more or less about reserved and unapproachable woman who is unable to accept someone’s love.

Dios (in English ‘god’) is more vigorous song with clear rock sounds. The lyrics is also more powerful with references to the four elements. I really like these two songs.

The whole album Infra includes 10 tracks:

1. Dios

2. Do Konca

3. Onna

4. Ledena

5. Da Sedere

6. Phat Yuppie

7. Diamanti

8. Love Love

9. Piknik

10. Gianna

When I was listening to Infra for the first time (excluding Ledena and Dios) I was a little embarrassed because every single song seemed to be very different from all the other Siddharta’s pieces of music. My feelings were rather negative. I thought ‘Probably something went bad, it isn’t the old Siddharta’s style any more!’. I didn’t feel like listen to it again. But after a few days I decided to return to Infra. Surprisingly, my opinion on it has completely changed. I found all of the tracks excellent and I couldn’t stop listening to them! I like the whole album but there is one song which recalls to me very positive emotions. In my opinion it is very energetic and pleasing to the ear song. There is something else which makes it so exceptional – the title of this song sounds like the name of one of my favourite Italian singers (Gianna Nannini). It caught my ear even if I don’t know yet what the lyrics is about. This is the last track of the album. It is called Gianna.

Do you have any experience like this? Have you ever had negative opinion about an album or a song which then changed completely?

Holidays without ...

The summer holidays have already passed and the new academic year began. (Un)fortunately this year I can’t boast about long trips, wild adventures or another impressive experience which supposedly most of you have had. Nevertheless, these three months were unusual to me. I spent most of the time in Poznań and in Bielsko. My holidays started with visit of my university friend and her boyfriend in my hometown. We spent in Bielsko a few days visiting the city and walking in the Beskid Mountains. We also went to visit Cieszyn and by the way to buy some Czech sweets and beer on the other side of the boundary ;) When I came back to Poznań I started to give Italian language lessons and meanwhile I was looking for a new flat with my boyfriend. When we finally found it and moved to it the new period began. I had to go again to Bielsko because I wanted to start the teaching practice in my former school before the academic year began. As you can see during this year’s summer I’ve done only common things and you can ask me ‘What’s so unusual in these holidays?’. I can explain it! There are some factors which made my holidays so exceptional:

- Italian lessons and my teaching practice in school lit up my mind and helped me to understand what I really want to do in my future. I discovered that I would like to divide my biggest passion and I can do this teaching Italian!

- Spending one month in my hometown I had a possibility to meet my friends and spend more time with them, with my family and with my dog! I haven't seen them for a long time studying in Poznań.

- I moved to the new flat in which now I live with my boyfriend, without any other flatmates who I had totally enough of!

- And finally: I SPENT THE WHOLE MONTH WITHOUT COMPUTER AND ALMOST WITHOUT INTERNET! That was an amazing feeling! I didn’t plan this before. It was only a strange coincidence because we hadn’t already had the connection to internet in our new flat and my parents in Bielsko had terminated the contract with internet provider some days before I came. That way I had more time for myself, for my friends, family and I got used not to use computer so much that now I don’t even feel like turn it on! But unfortunately nowadays life without computer and access to internet for a student is impossible…

Multidimensional dreams

In last post I wrote about very realistic dreams in which you wake up, so you pass to another dimension, and then you really wake up and again pass to another dimension which is called reality ;) Today I would like to describe a bit similar phenomenon which happened to me not once. I don’t think there is a specific term relative to this kind of dreams so I gave it a name by myself and I call them ‘multidimensional dreams’. There are two differences between false awakening and my multidimensional dreams: not always passing from one dimension to another is associated with awakening but there are other ways of such a transition; events present in each part of a dream are not everyday activities but on the contrary they are very often unreal situations which only appear very realistic in that dream.

One of my multidimensional dreams which I remember the most includes four transitions between different dimensions. I have to admit that it was very specific dream and it wasn’t very pleasant. In a nutshell it was something like this: 

'I was with my friend in a strange place where someone forced us to drink a poison. After doing that we died and we passed to other dimension. In that new world I saw some friends and family who were tortured and one of torturers told me ‘You can choose one person who we can leave alone'. I didn’t want to choose only one person. I was desperate and I started to cry and pray to God. Suddenly, when I made a step forward I crossed an invisible doorstep and again I passed to other dimension where I saw all my friends and family free and happy. There were also the torturers who became good people. Then we all danced together and in that point I woke up and realized that all the strange events were only in my dream. Suddenly, my friend patted me on the arm and asked me ‘What are you reading?’ and I realized that I read about that dream in a book during the travel by train. I answered ‘Oh, nothing interesting. There are only stupid stories in modern books.’ Finally, I truly woke up.

It is almost unbelievable that I can remember such a long and complex dreams but I really do. They happen to me very often. The structure of my multidimensional dreams in my opinion resemble to pictures where is a picture in a picture… like this: