Spiders everywhere

Last time I wrote about my fear of spiders. Today I would like to tell you how the phobia has changed my life.

The place which reminds me of spiders the most is my basement. Since my brother has found Miśka there (the spider I wrote about in my last post) I no longer enter this place. I haven't been there for about 8 to 10 years. I even don't know how does it look like today. When I refused for the first time to go to our basement and bring some preserves my mother was surprised and she thought that I was joking. Now my family got used to my fear and they all know that it is useless to ask me to go down to the basement.

Another place where I can meet my eight legged enemies is our wooden summer house in Warmia. I used to go there with my family one or two times a year, during summer holidays and around Easter or May picnic. The house is situated near lake and it remains empty most of the year. Spiders like such places. When there is no human inside spiders are taking control of the summer house. Every time we come there for our holidays there are plenty of cobwebs and spiders. The problem is that I can't cross the doorstep until someone removes all the cobwebs and kills all the spiders. When it is done I enter the house and have a look around the corners. If I see even a small spider I run away crying. It happened some times that I didn't want to sleep in our summer house and I went to sleep in my grandmother's house. I preferred to sleep in a small room with mice which I hear chewing something under the wardrobe all the night than with spiders. When I finally decided to spend the night in our summer house it wasn't a calm night not only for me but also for my roommates. Before falling asleep I did detailed search of the corners and of my bed. A small lamp had to be on all the night. When I fell asleep after one or two hours it was a success. But the whole night I dreamed about spiders which were everywhere! And I talked and screamed during sleeping which annoyed my sister and my brother and didn't allowed them to sleep.

There are some unexpected situations when I feel the fear of spiders. Recently I was going by car with my sister. She was a driver and I sat next to her. We were out of city and the sun was shining straight in my face. I opened the car visor and noticed a spider which were hanging from a thread. I started to shout and wanted to run away but I couldn't do anything because I was in the running car. My sister didn't know what to do. She was afraid that I would jump out of the car so she stopped it on the roadside. I got out of the vehicle and my sister removed the spider from behind the visor. This way we could continue our travel.

I am an arachnophobe. I am terribly afraid of spiders and some weeks ago my brother started to breed a tarantula. Then he brought another three exotic spiders. How can I feel safe in my home now?

Face to face with a spider

I am a person who is afraid of many things, phenomenons and situations. In this post I would like to describe one of my biggest fears.

I'm sure that most of you, if not all of you, know what arachnophobia is. But have you ever been affected by this fear? I know this phobia very well. I think my case isn't the most serious one but my fear is rather strong. I don't feel the usual disgust for spiders. I feel really bad and I'm terrified when even a small eight legged creature is near me. I'm also afraid of spiderwebs and sometimes I wonder if they aren't maybe more horrifying. Does it seem strange? I can explain that. Seeing a spider I can control its location, observe its behaviour and predict its actions. It allows me to take action to defend myself against the enemy. When I see a spiderweb and don't see any spider I know that it is somewhere near me but I have no way to control it and in practice it can be everywhere. As well on my back or, even worse, ugh... on my head!

Some people tell me that my fear is unmotivated and absurd but it is the real nature of a phobia. What's more, it is obvious that some species of spiders are dangerous. A few years ago I was bitten by a spider and even if it wasn't a deadly tarantula it hurt and I couldn't walk for three days because my whole leg was swollen.

Being a child I wasn't afraid of spiders. The fear was aroused by a specific situation. One day my four years younger brother caught a spider in our basement and decided to keep it. He even gave it a name Miśka. It was a female of the species Tenegaria domestica and it was very big! Its body with legs covered the surface of 1-liter jar. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if my brother had been keeping it in a suitable and closed container. But he had not. That time he slept in my room and before falling asleep he always took out Miśka from the container and stroke it like a cat or dog. One night he probably fell asleep without putting the spider back to the container. In the early morning I woke up and saw Miśka right beside my face on the pillow! I started to shout and run around the room. It was a real panic! Since that day I am terribly afraid of spiders.

Halloween feels at home in Poland

The end of October and the beginning of November is the period when people contemplate death. They deal with this subject in many different ways. In some cultures, for example in Poland, it comes down to a religious celebration of the holidays called All Saints’ Day which falls on the 1st of November and All Souls’ Day on the 2^nd of November. It’s the time when Poles visit cemeteries and light candles on the tombs of their deceased loved ones praying for them. In churches the meditation on what is temporal and eternal takes place. It is rather sad and melancholic time.

On the other side, probably the most known worldwide tradition dedicated to the souls of dead is the 31th of October called Halloween. The western practice to dress up as ghosts, vampires, zombies, witches and so on is more and more perceptible also in Poland. It is more playful approach to the topic.

This year I spent that time in my hometown Bielsko-Biała. The last day of October I cleaned the tombs on cemeteries and I prepared them for the next day celebrations. On my way home I saw a group of children dressed up as different creatures who were walking from house to house shouting ‘trick or treat!’ in Polish. I was shocked. In the evening I made an appointment with my friend. On the streets there were more groups of young ghosts and zombies. After sunset Bielsko is usually rather empty but that evening it was full of life, or even better saying full of death! There were a lot of dressed up teenagers who were frightening the passersby. I felt like in a horror movie. I dislike such a entertainments and I don’t support the western tradition of Halloween but I have to say that the atmosphere of that evening was unique. All thanks to the weather which perfectly fit the circumstance. There was such a thick fog that me and my friend couldn’t find each other on the street. It made the city look mysterious and scary. The fog created also some natural Halloween decorations. For example the small mote of water settled on the spider webs on the bridge, which made an amazing effect! The picture doesn’t express it very good and the quality is bad too but you can imagine more or less what it was like ;)

New musical experience

As you know I am fanatic of music. During the holidays I always have more time to explore new bands, albums and tracks. This year it was a good possibility to immerse in the newest Siddharta’s album. It was released 12th of June and it is called Infra. Before Infra two new songs came out which announced the album. They are called Ledena and Dios. Ledena is a slow ballad. The title means ‘icy’ and the lyrics is more or less about reserved and unapproachable woman who is unable to accept someone’s love.

Dios (in English ‘god’) is more vigorous song with clear rock sounds. The lyrics is also more powerful with references to the four elements. I really like these two songs.

The whole album Infra includes 10 tracks:

1. Dios

2. Do Konca

3. Onna

4. Ledena

5. Da Sedere

6. Phat Yuppie

7. Diamanti

8. Love Love

9. Piknik

10. Gianna

When I was listening to Infra for the first time (excluding Ledena and Dios) I was a little embarrassed because every single song seemed to be very different from all the other Siddharta’s pieces of music. My feelings were rather negative. I thought ‘Probably something went bad, it isn’t the old Siddharta’s style any more!’. I didn’t feel like listen to it again. But after a few days I decided to return to Infra. Surprisingly, my opinion on it has completely changed. I found all of the tracks excellent and I couldn’t stop listening to them! I like the whole album but there is one song which recalls to me very positive emotions. In my opinion it is very energetic and pleasing to the ear song. There is something else which makes it so exceptional – the title of this song sounds like the name of one of my favourite Italian singers (Gianna Nannini). It caught my ear even if I don’t know yet what the lyrics is about. This is the last track of the album. It is called Gianna.

Do you have any experience like this? Have you ever had negative opinion about an album or a song which then changed completely?

Holidays without ...

The summer holidays have already passed and the new academic year began. (Un)fortunately this year I can’t boast about long trips, wild adventures or another impressive experience which supposedly most of you have had. Nevertheless, these three months were unusual to me. I spent most of the time in Poznań and in Bielsko. My holidays started with visit of my university friend and her boyfriend in my hometown. We spent in Bielsko a few days visiting the city and walking in the Beskid Mountains. We also went to visit Cieszyn and by the way to buy some Czech sweets and beer on the other side of the boundary ;) When I came back to Poznań I started to give Italian language lessons and meanwhile I was looking for a new flat with my boyfriend. When we finally found it and moved to it the new period began. I had to go again to Bielsko because I wanted to start the teaching practice in my former school before the academic year began. As you can see during this year’s summer I’ve done only common things and you can ask me ‘What’s so unusual in these holidays?’. I can explain it! There are some factors which made my holidays so exceptional:

- Italian lessons and my teaching practice in school lit up my mind and helped me to understand what I really want to do in my future. I discovered that I would like to divide my biggest passion and I can do this teaching Italian!

- Spending one month in my hometown I had a possibility to meet my friends and spend more time with them, with my family and with my dog! I haven't seen them for a long time studying in Poznań.

- I moved to the new flat in which now I live with my boyfriend, without any other flatmates who I had totally enough of!

- And finally: I SPENT THE WHOLE MONTH WITHOUT COMPUTER AND ALMOST WITHOUT INTERNET! That was an amazing feeling! I didn’t plan this before. It was only a strange coincidence because we hadn’t already had the connection to internet in our new flat and my parents in Bielsko had terminated the contract with internet provider some days before I came. That way I had more time for myself, for my friends, family and I got used not to use computer so much that now I don’t even feel like turn it on! But unfortunately nowadays life without computer and access to internet for a student is impossible…

Multidimensional dreams

In last post I wrote about very realistic dreams in which you wake up, so you pass to another dimension, and then you really wake up and again pass to another dimension which is called reality ;) Today I would like to describe a bit similar phenomenon which happened to me not once. I don’t think there is a specific term relative to this kind of dreams so I gave it a name by myself and I call them ‘multidimensional dreams’. There are two differences between false awakening and my multidimensional dreams: not always passing from one dimension to another is associated with awakening but there are other ways of such a transition; events present in each part of a dream are not everyday activities but on the contrary they are very often unreal situations which only appear very realistic in that dream.

One of my multidimensional dreams which I remember the most includes four transitions between different dimensions. I have to admit that it was very specific dream and it wasn’t very pleasant. In a nutshell it was something like this: 

'I was with my friend in a strange place where someone forced us to drink a poison. After doing that we died and we passed to other dimension. In that new world I saw some friends and family who were tortured and one of torturers told me ‘You can choose one person who we can leave alone'. I didn’t want to choose only one person. I was desperate and I started to cry and pray to God. Suddenly, when I made a step forward I crossed an invisible doorstep and again I passed to other dimension where I saw all my friends and family free and happy. There were also the torturers who became good people. Then we all danced together and in that point I woke up and realized that all the strange events were only in my dream. Suddenly, my friend patted me on the arm and asked me ‘What are you reading?’ and I realized that I read about that dream in a book during the travel by train. I answered ‘Oh, nothing interesting. There are only stupid stories in modern books.’ Finally, I truly woke up.

It is almost unbelievable that I can remember such a long and complex dreams but I really do. They happen to me very often. The structure of my multidimensional dreams in my opinion resemble to pictures where is a picture in a picture… like this:

Dream within a dream

Do you know what false awakening is? It is a phenomenon when you dream that you wake up, you do some common activities like refreshing, getting dressed, preparing and eating breakfast etc. During this dream you are usually convinced that you stay really awake as long as you truly wake up. After getting up you can feel confused and unsure of what you really did and what you dreamt.

I experienced such a dream last night. I woke up, got up from my bed and went to the bathroom. After a few minutes I opened the fridge and took sandwiches which I had prepared the evening before and I put them into my bag. I don’t remember more details but I know that there were more everyday activities in that dream. Then my alarm clock rang and I really woke up. I was convinced that it was Friday and I said to my boyfriend ‘Oh, finally I can rest. I like Friday so much!’ and he made me aware of the fact that it was only Thursday and I had to go on university. I had to admit that he ruined my good mood. During the day some events which happened, people I met etc seemed to me strange. I had a feeling that all that things have already happened to me today. I realized that I had that dream within a dream. That’s why in the morning I thought Thursday has already passed. My dreams are becoming more and more fascinating for me!

Again I want to ask you a question: Have you ever experienced a false awakening? What was it like?

Days of Italian Culture

Last week was very intense and busy but also very joyful time for me and my friends from Italian Philology. The Student Scientific Group, of which I am a member, organized The Days of Italian Culture. This event took place from 18 until 21 May 2015. Within those four days there were some lectures relative to different contexts of Italian culture and language. Some of them were conducted by students who presented their interests regarding Italy and their looks on this country and the others were conducted by professors.

The first day was dedicated to Italian wines. The lecture was very interesting and informative. We could learn how the process of making different types of wine proceeds, how to drink wine and how not to do it ;) Our friend also debunked the most common myths about wine. Afterwards there was a possibility to take part in a wine testing.

The second day was marked by Italian music. The celebration started with the lecture about Italian ‘cantautori’ (singer-songwriters) which was combined with a concert. That was the point of DIC in which I took an active part because I sang a song of one of my favourite Italian artists Gianna Nannini titled ’Meravigliosa Creatura’. You can listen to the original version here:

The continuation of Tuesday events was the lecture about Italian opera and the meeting with a Polish opera artist.

The third day was the day of media and colours. We participated in some lectures relative to those two topics. In a certain way it was also a continuation of the previous day because in the evening there was organized the Italian karaoke in one of pubs in Poznań.

The last day of DIC was very important for students of Italian Philology who would like to know what to do after their studies. During the debate on career we knew very interesting guests who uses Italian language in their work. They shared their experience, the good and the bad aspects of their job and gave us some advices for the future. The last point of the celebration was the projection of Luchino Visconti’s film titled ‘Senso’ with the short lecture in the beginning.

I really liked the initiative to organize the Days of Italian Culture. It was very good occasion to show how students perceive Italy and Italian language, to share our interests associated with our course and also to know each other better. I hope it will become our tradition!

My prophetic dreams

Have you ever experienced that some events you dreamed about during the night repeated in your real life? I had several prophetic dreams. It is so fascinating to dream about your future but sometimes it is also a bit creepy.

One of my prophetic dreams presents an ordinary situation. I dreamt about my friend who I haven’t met for a long time and have had no contact with. In my dream I met her in Cracow near the university I attended that time. During that unexpected meeting I was surprised because she didn’t use to stay in that area of the city as she went to another university. About two days after that dream coming from the university I really met her. I was shocked. What’s more, she just crossed the same street as in my dream!

 Another dream was very funny but when it came true I was no longer laughing. I was angry and embarrassed. I dreamt that I wore my fairly new jeans and I just wanted to go out when they tore and there were two big holes in certain areas. Next day I wanted to leave home to meet with my friends and it was already late so I was hurrying. I wore the same jeans as in the dream and then I wanted to put on shoes in the corridor. I put my right foot on a step and bent down to tie shoelaces. Suddenly I heard a fairly loud sound of tearing material. Such situation happened to me only one time in my life and in addition I dreamt about it the night before…

The third prophetic dream I would like to describe you seems the most improbable because of a lot of details that repeated in my real life. It was the time when I was looking for a work in Cracow and I sent a lot of CVs daily. All of the responses came to me over the phone. One night I head a dream in which I sent my application to a charming coffee shop in which I wanted to work very much. Next day after sending my CV I checked my e-mail about 2 p.m. and I read a message from the manager of the coffee shop: ‘Recruitment meeting will take place the 7^th of April at 12 o’clock. Please confirm your presence.’ When I woke up I thought ‘Oh my God, that looking for a job is making me crazy!’ and I started to do ordinary things as every day after getting up. I turned on the computer only about 2 p.m. and the message which I found in my inbox knocked me flat! It was as follows: ‘Recruitment meeting will take place the 7^th of April at 12 o’clock. Please confirm your presence.’ In the same second I looked at the calendar and the clock. It was April 17^th, 2 p.m.

How about your prophetic dreams? Have you ever had any?

Happy Easter to everyone!

It's almost Easter. In this occasion I would like to wish you good health, a lot of peace and relaxation and serene Easter. May these days be full of family and friendly atmosphere.

In my home Easter is a time when my mother, sister and I can express ourselves by making handmade decorations. The obvious thing is to decorate boiled and coloured eggs. We always prepare for egg painting gathering onion skins some weeks before the Holy Week. Then, they will be useful to make the natural dye. The eggs have to be boiled in water with onion skins, they will become brown. We always choose eggs which have white eggshell because in such situation the results are better. When the dyed eggs are cool and dry me and my sister start to scratch various patterns on them such as flowers, lines, dots etc. It is a bit arduous and difficult work because it is easy to damage the eggshell but I find it worth to devote time and attention.

Besides decorating eggs we have also other Easter decorations. My house is full of my mum's crochet figurines. On Easter holidays my mum makes chicks, lambs and bunnies of knitting wool.

In this picture there is my hand-decorated egg and my mum's crochet chick. The tablecloth and the doily is also made by my mum :)

I'm not very good at decorating Easter eggs but I think my sister is a true artist in this field. In the second picture you can see this year's eggs decorated by my sister and a funny crochet bunny made, of course, by my mum :)

Do you like decorating Easter eggs and make other Easter ornaments?

Which techniques do you use to decorate eggs?

The music I’m crazy about. Part 5: Kantele

Kantele is a Finnish folk instrument. It is plucked string instrument similar to zither. It is made of wood and has strings the number of which varies from 5 to 40. The traditional kantele had horsehair strings but in the modern instrument the strings are metal.

According to the Finnish epic Kalevala the first kantele was built by hero Väinämöinen. He made the body of the instrument from a reindeer bone, the strings were a few hair of demon Hiisi’s horse which were attached to the body with the jawbone of a pike.

Kantele playing consist in plucking the strings with fingers. Nowadays kantele is used not only in folk music but also in other music genres such as heavy metal. When I heard the sound of kantele for the first time I felt in love with it. The two bands I’m listening to which use kantele in their songs are Nest and Kardemimmit. Nest is a finnish band composed by two musicians Aslak Tolonen, who is the kantele player, and Timo Saxell. Their music can be classified as neofolk, ambient and dark ambient.

Kardemimmit is a Finnish quartet composed of female musicians. They play folk music.

Four months passed

In this post I would like to summarize the first semester of this academic year but not only in terms of studying. Since I started writing my blog from the stories of my dreams, in this summary I would also refer to one of my dreams from the past.

In the beginning I should mention that it is my first year in Adam Mickiewicz University in Poznań. Previously I studied in Cracow where I had a lot of friends and where I was close to my hometown. Then I decided to enroll to the University of Poznań and I left Cracow. I moved to the new city where I didn’t know anybody, any places etc. All my friends, my family and my boyfriend left in Cracow and Bielsko. Now I’m living in a room the walls of which are painted grey. I like this colour but in combination with the greyness of this year’s autumn and winter it had a negative impact on my mood. The last four months were very hard for me. I had to acclimatize myself to the new reality, new city, new people and first of all to the new university. New subjects and exams proved to be more difficult than ones I had before. And the worse thing was the loneliness, the feeling of longing for my home, friends and of course for my boyfriend who I saw rarely because of the distance. The image of this time reminds me of one of my dreams I had some years before:

"I was alone in the world. The world was an extremely long and wide empty hall with all the walls painted grey, without doors and windows, furniture, equipment, flora and fauna. It has very overwhelming atmosphere. I was walking in that greyness looking for any sign of life and after long time I saw a slight sun beam coming to my world through the window as small as a notebook. There was an old wooden chair and a book on it. I sat on the chair and opened the book. It was an album with photos of my family and my friends. When I saw them I told: You all were always close to me and now I’m alone in this sad world."

It was very depressing dream. During these four months there were some moments in which I felt just like in that dream and that’s why I remembered about it.

Now the new semester started and I hope it will be better. Every day I see more and more sun through my window pane and I hope the spring will come soon. The thing which now gives me the will to live and makes me feel happy is the fact that my boyfriend moved to Poznań and we can see each other everyday!

The music I’m crazy about. Part 4: Joik

Today I would like to present a very unusual kind of music. It is probably one of the most amazing types of songs I’ve ever heard. This is joik (or yoik) a traditional Sámi music. I came across that way of singing about a year ago in Cracow during the meeting with the authors of the book Vaggi Varri. W tundrze Samów which is dedicated to the culture of Sámi people. Their stories and demonstrations made me fell in love with Lapland and thereby with joik. It isn’t ordinary way of singing. Joik is usually dedicated to a human being, an animal or a landscape. It is very often improvised. In the 1950s it was forbidden and considered sinful because of its association with Sámi shamanism. Joiking has a long tradition which lasts until now. I like to listen to joik because of its magical and peaceful sound which makes me feel nearer to the nature and of course because of the language!

Ulla Pirttijärvi is one of my favorite joik singers. She is from Finnish Lapland.

Adjágas is a group of Norwegian Sámi joikers. The name of the band in Sámi language mean the state between waking and sleeping.

Sofia Jannok is a joik singer from Swedish Lapland.

Vajas is another Sámi-Norwegian band. The name Vajas means echo in North Sámi language.

Other joiking artists and bands are: Mari Boine, Máddji, Orbina, Nils-Aslak Valkeapää, Wimme Saari.

The music I’m crazy about. Part 3: Swedish music

Sweden is one of the countries that I like very much. I’ve been three times in Sweden, precisely in Malmö. I have some Swedish friends and I would like to learn their national language. In my opinion Swedish sounds beautiful but it is very difficult language to learn, especially the pronunciation. For now I know only few Swedish words and expressions and in most cases I learned them from music :)

I listen to a lot of Swedish bands and musicians whose music can be assigned to many different genres. Below I present some of my favourite Swedish musicians who sing in their national language:

Veronica Maggio is a Swedish pop singer and songwriter. She was born in 1981 in Uppsala. She has Italian origins. Her discography includes four albums and several singles. Her music is known and appreciated not only in Sweden but also in other Scandinavian countries as Norway, Denmark and Finland. 

Säkert! is a band name of Swedish indiepop singer and songwriter Annika Norlin. The same singer makes also music in English under the name Hello Saferide. She was born in 1977 in Östersund. As Säkert! she released three albums (two in Swedish and one in English).

Laleh is a Swedish pop singer, songwriter, guitarist, pianist and actress with Iranian origins. She was born in 1982 in Iran. She released five albums in which she sings in Swedish, English and also Persian. Recently I heard her songs in polish radio stations. That fact surprised me positively :)

Kent is one of the most known Swedish rock bands founded in 1990. The members of the band are from Eskilstuna. They make music in Swedish and English. They are known not only in Sweden but also in other European countries and in USA. Their discography includes more than ten albums.

Movits! is a Swedish band founded in 2007 in Luleå. Their music is an interesting mix of swing, jazz and hip-hop. They have two albums and some singles. Their album Äppelknyckarjazz is released also in the USA by Comedy Central Records.

Board and card games – that’s the fun!

We are already in 2015. I hope this year will be successful for all of us!

I would like to tell you how I spent the New Year’s Eve because this time it was different than others. This year me and my friends decided not to go or organize a typical party with noisy music, dance and big amounts of alcohol. We met in a group of 7 people in my friend’s house and we brought a lot of board and card games on various topics. These games are our common passion. We spent half the night and half the next day checking our knowledge about the world, exercising the reflex, creativity in inventing stories, language skills, developing strategies and also exercising abdominal muscles by laughter ;)

I really love to play games. It is a good way to spend your free time with your friends, family and also to get to know new people (for example during events dedicated to board games). There are a lot of genres of board games I usually play: educational games, logic games, party games, strategy games, economic games, games of physical skill etc. I’ve never played any RPG (role-playing game) but I would like to try.

It is hard to say which game is my favourite but one of the best games I recently knew is called Dixit.

In this game each player gets some cards with different abstract pictures on them. The first player, called the storyteller, chooses one of his cards and invents a title of the picture. It can be a phrase, a simple word or even a gesture. Then he puts his card on the table face down and tells the title. Other players choose one of their cards which match the cited title the most and put it on the table face down next to the first card. Then all the cards on the table are shuffled and turned face up.

All the players (except the storyteller) guess which card belongs to the storyteller. Who guesses well gets some points. Points are given also to the storyteller if someone but not everyone guessed which card belongs to him and as well to the player whose card was betted. Dixit is very joyful game. It requires a lot of creativity. How about you? Do you like to play board and card games?